/`] The Nature of Truth

Eric's answer to the age-old question "Where does the truth lie?" is: it doesn't.

Really about cows

Finally, a story that's not about Eric running with me, nor about his off-kilter standup comedy. For that matter, it's not about Eric...

It's that time of year again, folks - the K-town fair! As always, some of "our" cows had to be taken back to the Real Farm to prepare for the fair. Eric helped herd two of the girls into a horse stall so the Farm Boys could put lead ropes on them. The Boys led the pair down the hill without incident, then came back for two more. Bad idea - the next two wanted no parts of this herding nonsense and started running laps around the paddock like NASCAR racers. Colin tried to stop one rounding a corner, and, again like NASCAR, the cow plowed straight through the fence! Boards, Boys and cows were flying everywhere (this picture was taken after things had calmed down considerably).

So, now the game was afoot on a bigger playing field - the pasture. The Boys managed to rope them heifers (ye-ha), only to discover that cows outweigh boys, and can drag boys around the field like those tin cans people tie to "Just Married" bumpers.

The Boys eventually (barely) outsmarted the cows and led them down the hill. But in the woods, one cow escaped again. Like generations of ranch hands, cowpokes and buckaroos before them, the Boys called out that manly cry: "Get Mom!"

But once the cows were caught and led out of the woods, the Boys discovered that they were not out of the woods yet - the cows escaped again, this time on the road. By this time, the activity had attracted a small crowd of neighbors and their dogs. Unfortunately, no one took a photo of cows running, people chasing and dogs barking, so just sit back and visualize.

Eventually someone, presumably Mom, brought order to the chaos, and everyone lived happily ever after.

No cows (or boys) were injured in writing this blog entry.

P.S. It ultimately was decided not to take the troublemaker cow to the fair, so look for another blog entry when the cow is brought back up the hill.

P.P.S.S. For these situations, we need a dog like "Rose": http://www.slate.com/id/2146000/nav/tap1/

Career Move

Eric's agent convinced him that his stand-up comedy act would be better served by publishing each joke as a new blog entry, rather than adding each to the February 19th posting that launched his career ("Eric's new trick" http://ericthedognottheman.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_ericthedognottheman_archive.html ). So, Eric backdated his jokes and posted them separately. You can tell which entries are "Eric jokes" because their titles contain the universal emoticon for "dog-standing-on-two-legs-talking-into-a-microphone", which, of course, is /`] (see how it looks like Eric at the mike)







To those of you who complain that Eric's jokes make no sense, please remember that English is not his native language.

/`] Chicken or egg

Eric asks "How did they clean the first vacuum cleaner?"

/`] Irony

Eric was nearly run off the road where the Macs used to live by someone who was in too much of a hurry to turn into Patience Lane.

/`] Chianti

Eric was reminiscing about his mother's sister, Florence, who, although she was alcoholic, was his most important relative. In fact, she was his key auntie.

/`] Guacamole

Perhaps you know the answer to Eric's question: "What's the difference between Whac-a-Mole and guacamole?" His answer is: "Guacamole is an adverb."

/`] Plans

He recently observed that if you folks decide to go to the Cannes film festival before you go to Crete, those would be Cannes-Crete plans. Then when he learned that Deb had told him the wrong vacation island, he realized that your plans were probably Capri-meditated anyway.

/`] Weighty matters

Eric ponders the questions "Is Elizabeth Hurley bulemic?" and "Should anorexics attend Widener University?"

/`] T-Mobile

Eric said that he was craving caffeine and crumpets so he subscribed to T-Mobile, but he's still waiting for it to come. Perhaps he should summon it with the T-Signal.