The Gauntlet is Thrown Down

As you know, after dinner, the dogs and I run and bike, respectively, to the meadow. This evening, our run turned into a race - a real race! We were just crusin' down the hill with Fin and Eric in the lead when something clicked, and I decided it was time for humans to challenge the canines. I shifted into 3rd and pedaled as hard as I could. The dogs kept up. I speeded up even more; the dogs kept up. I shifted into 4th and finally passed the dogs. In the meadow, I had to go wide to avoid big bumps, and the dogs passed me again. I put on a final burst as we convereged on the opening to the woods, and...

The winner of this first stage was Eric!

In the woods, the dogs kept up their lead; they're way faster over tree roots than my bike. I managed to slip ahead as we turned onto the trail that leads out of the woods, and it's a good thing, because I didn't want the dogs in front of me when I jumped the creek bed. I thought I was going to win Stage II, but Fin passed me just before we left the woods.

The final stage was around the fence and up the hill. I've ridden the bike up hills a lot, but never after I had sprinted for half-a-mile trying to go faster than a Lab who runs like a greyhound and a terrier with legs like hummingbird wings. I dropped down to 1st gear and gave it every thing I had. It wasn't enough - Fin and Eric both beat me to the top.

Did I mention that Fin carried his red Jolly Ball the whole time?

Tomorrow, revenge.

The Making of "SAT Question"

(read "SAT Question" and "SAT Answer" before reading this entry)

My public has requested a documentary of how "SAT Question" came about, and I am happy to oblige.

It all began with NPR. A few months ago, interspersed with various interviews about Iraq was an interview with the guy who does Sponge Bob's voice. One couldn't help but sense some similarity between the words "Baghdad" and "Sponge Bob", and I tried to compose a joke about it. Adam and Juila were subjected to my earliest feeble attempt at humor, and to my surprise, their reaction was not gales of laughter, but rather "I guess there might be some vague connection there".

But the dream did not die! Months passed, and meanwhile, EricTheDogNotTheMan came to be. If I could only come up with an Eric angle, I could finally share my vision with the world through the miracle that is this blog! I tried to come up with words that started with a noun, any noun, and ended in "Eric". "Generic" didn't cut it, "Tumeric" was a bit obscure, so I settled on "Homeric".

It was all downhill from there, just a matter of coming up with a word that ended with a parent (the British twist of "mum" in "chrysanthemum" was an extra bonus), and coming up with other words that ended with familiar names: DolPHIN, DigitALIS, LinoLEUM.

Enough. Let us hope the next blog entry will not be "Outtakes from "SAT Question"". Let us hope there will be no "SAT Question" T-shirts and coffee mugs. And let us hope this blog will return to tales of Eric defending his food, Eric catching a mouse, and Eric peeing on our newly-delivered wood.

SAT answer

(read "SAT Question" before reading this entry)

OK, the response to "SAT question" ranged from "huh?" to "what does this have to do with Eric?". I shall explain.

The comedic premise is that, just as any sentence containing "wolverine" is automatically funny, juxtaposing anything serious with "Sponge Bob" is an automatic knee-slapper (translation: the name "Sponge Bob" is funny). "Baghdad", "Sponge Bob", and "Chrysanthemum" - my sides are splitting!

Deciphering the question takes a bit more explanation. You have to think of the words phonetically:

Bag-Dad is to Sponge-Bob as Chrysanthe-Mum is to ???

So, the pattern is:

"object-parent" (bag-dad) is to "object-name" (sponge-bob) as "gibberish-parent" (chrysanthe-mum) is to one of the multiple choice answers.

Let us break down the possible answers phonetically:

a) Doll-Fin (dolphin)
b) Home-Eric (see, it is about Eric!)
c) Lino-Liam (linoleum)
d) Digit-Alice (digitalis)

(note: there are a couple of Dutch words, but no word in the English language that ends with "Keir" or "Keer"; sorry)

As you can see, "Fin", "Eric", "Liam" and "Alice" are all names. "Doll", "Home" and "Digit" are all objects, but "Lino" is gibberish, just as "Chrysanthe" is gibberish. Hence, "Lino-Liam", or "c", is the correct answer.

SAT question

Baghdad is to Sponge Bob as Chrysanthemum is to:

a) Dolphin
b) Homeric
c) Linoleum
d) Digitalis

Faster than he looks

One of life's great joys at Far Arden is taking the dogs to the meadow after the work day is done. They know what's coming - Fin and Eric run around picking up Jolly Balls and squeaky toys, respectively, in anticipation of me announcing "want to go to the meadow?" Then they run down to the fence, run back up to see if I really mean it, run down to the fence again and so forth while I'm getting my bike. Normally, once I start riding, Fin takes off and never looks back, but Eric keeps up the "Let's go! Wait - do you really mean it?" pattern all the way down the hill. It's cute, but it makes it tough for the cyclist, and much tougher for Eric if the bike were to run over him.

Today, Eric ran non-stop all the way down the hill. He of the three-inch legs kept up with the Mighty Fin! (like whom you'll not see nothing - apologies to Manfred Mann) He ran all the way into the woods. That's like Fin running from here to Chattanooga!


P.S. If you don't get the Manfred Mann reference, it refers to the classic song "Quinn the Eskimo", written by Bob Dylan, performed by Manfred Mann, and whose most memorable line is "You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn".

Sound advice

When you delete a song from iTunes, it rings a little bell which makes Eric bark, which makes Fin bark. Which makes Eric bark. Which makes Fin bark.

The moral of the story is that you should throw a big soundproof blanket over your computer or sing "Oklahoma!" really loudly when you delete a tune if two or more dogs are present.

Afterbath

Eric tries to recover from a bath.
He is no happier about bathing than swimming.

Solidarity

After the haircut, I assume Keir now looks like this:

Eric and I have shaved our heads in sympathy:

Please let Eric and I know if we have misinterpreted Keir's dilemma.

Guns, Germs, Steel, Eric, Lawson

When Eric first moved here, we kept him in his crate overnight. This worked for a week or so, but then he started howling when we crated him. Despite my claim that you can teach a dog anything, I chose not to teach him the art of silence at 11 pm in my skivvies. So, we let him have the run of the house overnight, and to our pleasant surprise, he went to a corner and was quiet as a mouse. Quieter, actually: mice wake me up.

This has become our routine, and most nights, it works like a dream. Some nights, however (and this is one, probably because Lawson is here), Eric is so excited at bedtime that he comes upstairs. This is a no-no. Yes, we have a double standard; Fin in the bed but Eric downstairs - wanna make something of it? So, to calm Eric down and get him to sleep on the first floor, I have to read him a bedtime story. Tonight, it's a passage from the Pulitzer prize-winning "Guns, Germs, and Steel".

P.S. Since Ralph still refuses to get his own blog, you'll have to go to http://www.worldlynx.net/j2m//fararden/DSC29536431edbf95_jpg.html to see him and Lawson.

Eric as Art

Our cousin Michael is spending the weekend at our place while he shows their art at a local show. He set up a small version of the art factory Alice helped with this summer, and produced a unique masterpiece.